Tremendous Year

I was really excited about my mommy buying me tacos for dinner, but unfortunately I couldn’t eat them. She ordered bean burritos with no cheese, since I’m a vegan, but they got my order wrong. I wasn’t too worried about it, but I went back and asked them to replace my order. They got it wrong a second time, and put beef in it (probably on purpose). I went back a third time, which I was kind of regretting now, and they switched my order again. This time there is some kind of thick white sauce in it. It doesn’t smell or taste very good. It kind of resembles semen :( 

I’m not going to complain because the people taking my order were obviously just picking on me. It kind of hurts my feelings though. I won’t eat it, and I know everyone in my family will think I’m being petty. I’m the only vegan in my family and they’ve been less than supportive. These are constant prejudices that I’ve had to endure for as long as I can remember. I just can’t believe people get this upset about me not eating meat, so far as to cum in my food. I’ll get over it though. Worse things have happened.

I was watching children play outside, and started talking to this kid named Emanuel. He asked me where babies come from. The eternal question we all dread. So I look to a cloud where a few rays of sunlight shine through, and tell him that’s where babies come from, that the opening in the sky is God’s passage for delivery. I told him that God made his eyes of onyx, gave him the voice of a seraphim, and painted his face of love. He asked me, “What does love look like?”.  I told him, “Love looks like you, but a little less beautiful.” We talked about his parents and about how they were divorced. He told me that life was hard sometimes, and asked why it didn’t come with instructions. I told him the instructions were written inside of him in a book called “Intuition”. Many metaphors later he asked me if my story was real, or if I made it all up. I answered, “Who says made up stories can’t be real?” He seemed satisfied with my answer. He smiled, nodded, and turned back to me before asking, “So… what does sex feel like?”

My reaction: O.o

He made me go through all that for nothing. He already knew, lol. Kids these days. He’s a sweet kid. Before he went home, he told me, “I hope I have a daughter like you.” He’s sweet. I was like, “I’m waaaaay older than you!” I love kids.

I waited to read my novel, and now I’m like, “WTF is this?”. Needless to say, it’s awful. I’m going to be editing the heck out of this story. I’ve decided the best way to go about this is to write three alternative paragraphs for every one paragraph I wrote, and choose the best one.

This might take a while.

I need something new to read.

fortressofself:

marcoayedoewelive:

no-solace:

stayworthless:

ask me anything

• sexual
• weird
• about love 
• about my life
• about me
• about food

Be a fearless bastard and ask away

do et

pees

please

k

(Source: yourunbrokendemi)

I went to Walmart to hang out because that’s really the only place to go when you live in a small town. It’s kind of like:

I’m walking around when all of a sudden I see a cute guy I recognize from my math class.

I was like:

The problem is, I know him, but I don’t know him that well, so I didn’t want him to see me. I’m kind of shy around people, so I hid…

At some point I decided to make it a game of hide and seek. Only he didn’t know he was supposed to find me. My heart was actually racing. I felt like I was going to die. Most of my time in the store was running around, crawling behind children’s toys, and having people look at me weird. I heard him talking to his friends a few aisles down, and there were people in front of me talking. I was freaking out!!!

So I was all: 

These old ladies and some other people were looking at me like:

My tone was urgent enough to get everyone to stop talking, but I didn’t hear him anymore. I politely asked one of the woman to check the next aisle for a young attractive Hispanic guy. She gives me a look that lets me know both, I’m weird and she approves. When she comes back I’m kind of shaking from all the adrenaline, and she tells me the aisle is empty. 

I don’t even know what I would have done if he found me, lol, I might have started screaming. The whole time I was crawling around on the floor in the toy aisle with a puzzle box hiding my facing wondering what my friends would have thought if they saw me. Luckily, I got out of there alive. He left before me, but I didn’t see him.

It’s hard to explain how awkward and bizarre I really am, so here’s a picture:

… O.o pretty much.

Now that I’ve had some time to reflect over this whole experience I realize I could have just said hi like a normal person. I realize that even though we don’t know each other that well, it might have actually been okay to just walk up to this really hot guy and say “Hey, how are you? That’s good.” and go back to what I was doing. I make things way too complicated.

It was fun though.

Some pretty good advice to myself should be: People are just people and they shouldn’t scare you. It would definitely save me from having panic attacks in public.

Does anyone else ever have experiences like this?